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I have been a meditator for thirty-five years, thirty of those in residence with Sri Eknath Easwaran, one of the great meditation teachers of the twentieth century. In that time, I have had deep experiences. Some of them, when the mind slowed down to near-complete standstill, are among the most memorable experiences in my life. These I owe to my practice of passage meditation, the best means I know of slowing down the fast lurching thoughts of the mind. By stilling the mind and taking us beyond thought, meditation can enlighten sleeping areas of the brain that were never before conscious, illumining us to what we truly are and always have been. But, after decades of practice, I found some areas that were still asleep and unconscious, that just did not want to wake up. These were illusive, beyond reach, untouched by meditative work. As Ken Wilber says, for many in the modern world, particularly those who have suffered childhood traumas, meditation is profoundly helpful, but there may be material it can’t access. In fact, impenetrable gates the psyche puts up to shield us from traumas in our past can block greater personal awareness. Probably eighty percent of the people who take to meditation are looking for a refuge from the dark, sometimes terrifying unconscious presences such childhood traumas leave in their wake. In my own case, I was very fortunate. Inwardly, meditation gave me serenity and peace. Outwardly, life also faced me with myself, with deeper forces from the psyche that had been hidden, trapped as it were under the weight of the earth. The sheer power of these forces showed me that Ken Wilber was right—that, in order to undo a lifetime of thought and behavior patterns stemming from childhood abuse, therapy is helpful as an adjunct to meditation. For as hidden memories and patterns are painfully brought out into the open through the therapeutic process, I have found nothing has to be of greater support than the right meditation passage-- words from the depths of great spirits who, by facing such weaknesses, found greater wholeness and strength. In my battle to become aware of the more ugly, shadowy forces in myself and make them my friends, it gave me great comfort to know that someone as great as King David felt “troubled, bowed down greatly, mourning all the day long,” before the light of realization burst upon him. As a person who knows over a hundred passages and is familiar both with meditation and with the therapeutic process, I can say that passage meditation is particularly helpful to those who wish to own up to their weaknesses and take personal responsibility for any wrong actions they have caused. Whenever you are working with areas in yourself where you are stunted because of childhood wounds, this process is tedious and difficult. Amidst it, you can seed your consciousness with passages from a spirit that speaks to your own and can carry into your depths the message of hope. Whether working on oneself in a twelve step program, with a therapist, or in your own program of self-growth, inspirational passages can give a lifeline to that sweet ambrosia and quickened spirit that we are still searching to make ours. To give an example, so many of us are obsessed with trying to be only good and push down the not so good. However, consciousness is a very big place; what we believe is good about ourselves fills only an infinitesimal part of it. In fact, in my case, such clinging left me just a collection of fragments unable to liberate myself to experience wholeness of being. But I found these words from The Sixth Patriarch of Zen: Do not try to push away distractions and hide from your mistakes; for they themselves contain the nature of true reality.As John Bradshaw says, “it is necessary to become a beast if one is ever to become a spirit. We need the boundary of our finitude—ever reminding us that we are human and not divine.” (Healing The Shame that Binds You, p, 6) That is why, meditating on these words from the Sixth Patriarch, it became easier for me to invite all the stuffed-down ugliness, too, into my life, to call up those ogres that were exiled down in the basement right up into my stylish Victorian and invite them to tea. Such acknowledgment of weaknesses and taking responsibility for actions is difficult business. It takes courage to stand up and accept our whole self. But that is the gateway to greater awareness. The more awareness, the more consciousness will be seen to include not just part of ourselves, but all of ourselves, and eventually, see in a sudden flash our interdependence with the whole of life in all its glory. So if you have an area of weakness, addiction, or dependency, congratulate yourself. Know that, whatever it is, there is help in the world of passage meditation, and that you may find your worst weakness--insecurity, fear, victimization, inconstancy, co-dependence, alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, the internet, or any other-- will be the trail that leads inward into your greatest source of strength deep in consciousness. Whatever difficult area we may be working on with our therapist, twelve step program, or path of personal growth, there is the right inspirational passage to expand awareness into it and bring us great comfort. In such difficult personal work, inspirational passages are just the ally you have been looking for. Problems with addiction and personal helplessness are problems precisely because they are in a place in consciousness where our will can’t go. Twelve-step programs counsel us to seek help from a higher power in order to get hold of what our will cannot access. Inspirational passages provide the perfect link to that higher power. Without reference even to a belief in God, work with such passages brings the highest vision of human capacities within reach of anyone who places their full attention on them. By linking with the feelings that are being released in our inner work, the right passage will help in our work to
Dr. Stephen Ruppenthal is the author of The Path of Direct Awakening: Passages for Meditation. He is also the co-author of Eknath Easwaran’s edition of The Dhammapada and the author of Keats and Zen. He has taught meditation and courses on Han Shan at UC Berkeley and San Francisco State University. Dr. Ruppenthal is an international workshop leader in passage meditation and in courses for those looking for end of life spiritual care and for the spiritual step component of twelve step programs. Visit Stephen’s work at www.directawakenings.com. |
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© 2005 Stephen Ruppenthal & DirectAwakings.com
© 2005 Stephen Ruppenthal & DirectAwakings.com