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When we are children, we jump about in play, frolic in lakes and streams, and notice the bright sunlight in the grass. We are in touch with our bodies. This relaxed state is our home. But as we grow up, the mind begins its enslavement of our freedom and joy. In school and at home, we are regimented into routines that stifle creativity and originality. We lose the connection “glad animal movements” gave us to the child within us, and with it, the capacity to be fed and nourished by the universe around us. Before the struggle to learn and achieve, all of us had moments when we could lie down and watch the clouds passing over the blue sky. There was nothing to do and nowhere to go; we had only to be. I would like to show five ways to remember how to relax and see life not as time to work or make money, but as food for our inmost soul. Finding flexibility When I was growing up, muscle was considered strength. Weightlifting gyms were opening up all over, and guys went for big, heavy muscles. The biggest musclemen exhibited their exploits on beaches or got on TV. In track, I was told to run fast as I could and override any pain in the body. People were supposed to always be strong and never give into feelings or ever, ever break. Try hard. Do good. Be successful: that was the path to follow. Then I read the Chinese sage Lao Tsu for the first time, and he said: Bend, and become straight. Empty yourself of self, and become full, Then even in tatters, you will be fully renewed. I began to see that people society called weak turned out to be the ones who magically got ahead. In school, a boy who was awkward and covered with acne, whom we teased relentlessly, turned in a lottery ticket a couple of decades later and won $22 million. Today a delightful and very giving gentleman, he sure did not seem like a winner. Turning off the judge Our mental life is teeming with incessant thoughts, moving quickly and automatically. Particularly when we make a bad mistake, or when a broken relationship shakes our foundations, thoughts tell us we are ineffective, worthless, or bad. Most of us can find they quiet down if we work very hard and gain approval from people outside. These thought voices are not us, but our minds, ready to sabotage and control us so that we never can lay back and feel the joy of who we really are. That is why it is important not to escape through work. Instead, listen to and witness them to deflate their power. Note down the nature of these compulsive thoughts, and tell a good friend or therapist about how they lie to you and hold you down. Do the opposite of a compulsive drive If you can put the judge in his place, then it is time to learn the deeper mystery of relaxation. Sometimes it means backing away from what you are just set on getting. When you want happiness, tell yourself you would be equally content with its opposite and just wait. Strangely enough, happiness may choose you, just like the $22 million chose my classmate. If someone is judging you for not getting everything just right, take a few deep breaths. Remember you can bend and sway. If you have a mantram, say it a few times and know that at your depths, the energy of the Om or Krishna or Buddha is you. You may just settle into a comfortable place where the richest, most potent power in the universe fills you with power and wonder. Making time to do nothing The greatest enemy of our inner dictator is free relaxation. Have you ever thought of why in traditional cultures a whole day is given over to rest, with no work? When we relax, we can absorb the joy of nature around us and relate in the fullness of love to our friends and family. In the modern world, we have been encouraged to drive ourselves relentlessly. We become a human doing and not a human being, who can relax, laugh, and just be. I recommend putting aside half an hour to just sit, lie down, and do absolutely nothing. You will find blocks fall away from your vision. You are fed and nourished just by the universe around you, especially in nature. Healthful exercise The body was meant for motion. Vigorous exercise renews the body and invigorates our life and feelings. When we swim avidly in the lake or walk freely in the hills, our bodies move with the natural rhythm they crave. Pulsating with that rhythm, we come closer to life lived in the body, not enslaved by the mind. As our body gently moves, we can relax in a vastness deeper than ourselves—than our job at home, than all our associations, appointments and obligations. Whether we swing our arms in the bracing wind or feel the harmony of our breathing with our footstep, we perceive an opening through which we can speak to our original self, beneath all conditioning and habits. Lastly, I would invite all those who, like myself, aren’t yet wise enough to imitate the action of nature to meditate on the words of those who are. Passages which do so help seed the truth and the capacities in consciousness. Meditate on passages that speak of suppleness, flexibility, and gentleness—and bring these positive, enduring qualities into your life. Then let Nature do the rest!! Dr. Stephen Ruppenthal is the author of The Path of Direct Awakening: Passages for Meditation. He is also the co-author of Eknath Easwaran’s edition of The Dhammapada and the author of Keats and Zen. He has taught meditation and courses on Han Shan at UC Berkeley and San Francisco State University. Dr. Ruppenthal is an international workshop leader in passage meditation and in courses for those looking for end of life spiritual care and for the spiritual step component of twelve step programs. Visit Stephen’s work at www.directawakenings.com. |
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© 2005 Stephen Ruppenthal & DirectAwakings.com
© 2005 Stephen Ruppenthal & DirectAwakings.com