1. Pinpoint the area that needs change. If you are like me, you know by now which areas qualify best for New Year’s resolutions. In my own case, I unfailingly used to show up at a friend’s house just when her four trays of chocolate chip cookies were coming out of the oven (she always made plenty extra for friends and kids who dropped by). She was trying to help me over a very hard period in my life, and I must say there were times when I had ten or twelve. I knew then that I needed to get some control over what was becoming a very bad habit. Similarly, whether it is overeating, a hot temper, or a tendency to procrastinate cleaning or organizing our home or office, all of us have a pretty good idea what we want to change during the next year.
   
   
2. Decide on the resolution. In my year of cookie gluttony, long about my birthday, which is December 10th, I made a promise to myself. I said, whenever I am around fresh baked cookies, I will limit myself to two—after the New Year. But my question is, if you know already that, for example, you need to stop gambling, or call your family member to end an estrangement, or find a new way of communicating frustration to your husband, why waste the time between now and the 1st? The change is a tough one, and you will benefit from trying it out in small increments. In my case, going from twelve cookies down to two was pretty draconian; so I decided during December to cut back only to five. When you are dealing with a negative behavior pattern that is strong—and don’t we know we all have them—December should be the time for a trial quiz, not the final test. If you want to stop yelling at your partner, use December to check out books that give you strategies and tools for new ways to respond. If it’s someone you want have been estranged from, write down and rehearse what you are going to say to them when you make the resolution to call after January 1st. December should be your time for research and experimentation, so that when they all start singing Auld Land Syne, you will be ready.
   
   
3. What if you fail in your tests? Let me first say that some problems, like deep compulsions or serious psychological troubles, are too deep for resolutions and may need professional interventions. I have had such areas in myself, where resolving to change was of no help whatever because I was the almost helpless victim of a drive that needed therapeutic intervention. But if your area is one where change could seriously be within reach, I would say that in your tests for coming resolutions, there can be no failure. You should congratulate yourself even for trying. After I promised to cut back, I had at least one visit to my friend’s house when I exceeded my limit of five cookies, but the fact was, I was trying to get some control. The idea was in my mind. In December, give yourself plenty of slack. If you want to change but still can’t stop yelling when your partner forgets something very important to you, try keeping your voice down just a notch, and maybe just once breathing deep. The important thing isn’t that you succeed instantly at your changes, but that you have formed the intent to make them, even if you try to implement it in very, very small steps.
   
   
4. Ready, Set, Go. If you have decided what your resolutions will be for the coming year and given them the kind of trial run I have suggested here, then when the party is over and the fireworks have hailed in the New Year, you will be ready to act. I found that testing my resolution out during December let me know just how weak I really was. Because I tried to cut back on a bad habit in a very modest way, I learned come January 1st that the resolution I had hoped to make was just too hard for me. If I had not tried during December to practice a much more modest version of it and failed even at that, I would have set my heart on a change that was way too extreme for me ever to succeed at. For when the New Year came, my life had not healed, and I gave myself much more leeway to overeat than I ever would have if I had not done the trial run. But I made which was, for me, huge progress, just much slower than I had hoped. Today I eat moderately and with great joy.
   

So I think the biggest lesson of trial resolutions in December is, be patient as you rehearse them. Allow room to make mistakes, and have plenty of compassion for yourself. This is your sneak preview, the way to glimpse how the New Year really will be. If with your deepest reserves of courage try your resolutions out now, in December, not only will you approach the New Year with confidence-- when it finally comes, you will hit the ground running and be fully ready for it.