Mother Theresa of Calcutta used to say that the world is hungry for our help and our love. Whether it is people, animals, or the earth itself, the need for our help and service has never been greater. And the funny thing is, the more we help, the more energy it gives us. That’s because when we make a difference in life, we forget about our own problems, which are really what make us feel old.
Of course it fills us with sadness when the fun and frivolity of youth passes away and we face deeper, very difficult issues of life. I believe that, more than the wrinkles and the aches and pains, this process of facing an account with ourselves comprises much of the pain of aging. But we can gain a new, different sort of vitality, much more long lasting, when we participate in others’ lives, alleviate the plight of the disadvantaged, or help heal the earth.
If you make the effort to find fulfilling and meaningful ways to spend your time, contributing to the world and making a small difference, you will be valued by everyone you care about. Age will just then just be a number. So here are some things to keep in mind as you choose the ways you can best help to tap into your inner power really to make a difference in life.
1. Secure yourself first: don’t risk getting swallowed up.
Wrongly performed, service to others can be either draining or intoxicating, and we should stay vigilant about our motives as well as theirs. No question, meeting others’ needs is one of the trickiest areas in human life. Some individuals are perpetually needy; we with the best motives may try to rescue them from their difficulties when it would be better both for ourselves and for them to let them help themselves. Similarly, you may choose to volunteer for a helping organization and come home drained, because resources are so badly stretched that the work would take ten times what you can give to get anywhere at all. Whether it is for a friend or for selfless work to better life, look before you leap: make sure your own legitimate needs are reasonably fulfilled, your own personal boundaries healthy, and that you are giving from personal fullness, not taking away vital resources needed for personal development.
2. Think big, start small.
When we were young, energy was abundant and seemed to automatically connect us to many friends. But as we age and this energy ebbs, most of feel depressed and alone. We can find that joy we knew in youth, only now it’s necessary to reach out and work for it. It might seem small, but just pick up the phone and call that friend you have lost touch with and offer to meet for coffee. Or help your neighbor prune her roses or apple tree. If you just look for small opportunities, your attention will leave your problems and a greater energy will fill you as your life makes a difference for someone else.
3. Finding a need that meets you in the heart.
You may think in helping others you need to have training but really it is passion that counts most. If you reach out to others in a way you truly love, that will suffice. My grandpa found his passion in a retirement community in Florida. He learned he could swing a hammer pretty well, so he started offering to fix things in people’s homes for free. I don’t believe he felt old even on the day he died. He remained continually happy because he was able to help many people out of his very nature. You may not have building skills—I, too, do not—but every one of us has something we care deeply about. If you are not sure what your passion is, ask those close to you how you have most been there for them. Sometimes you will be surprised; I heard of a man once who was taciturn but loved dogs, and he wound up training companion dogs to visit the elderly in rest homes. He may not have been much of a talker, but his passion was dogs, and he made the lonely happy by training them to bring much happiness.
4. Leverage your service.
Keep in mind your unique gifts and skills. The years ahead stretch out endlessly before the 25-year old, but for us, every action counts. Any help we can extend to others is bound to be appreciated, but we work best when we find a context where our own unique skills can grow and bloom. For example, as a trained meditator I wanted to impart a skill to others that had helped me so much. I devised a curriculum and offered to teach the practice in people’s homes. But I soon felt that if I could get my curriculum into the hands of those in a position to expand its reach, I need not be the one to teach the class, and many more would be helped. Now classes similar to the one I originally created are taught all over North America and beyond.
